Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
