I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
