her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
