Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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