Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
