what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
