Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize