he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
