I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
