I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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