is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't deserve a penis
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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