she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
pray to the hookup gods
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
