He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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