Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
