brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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