We named our party play list daddy issues
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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