I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
