Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize