we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Drunk is a universal language darling
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
