Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
