If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
