hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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