I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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