So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
