Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
