What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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