I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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