Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
