did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
