I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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