Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize