he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
