D3 body, D1 cock
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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