There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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