Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
