woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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