So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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