What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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