do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
