peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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