She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
