Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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