Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
