My nipple is on Facebook.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Barsexuality is the new black.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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