Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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