I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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