If i come over, it means nothing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just gargled with NyQuil
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
