I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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