The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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