I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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