his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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