I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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