there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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