The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
