Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
