I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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