She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
