if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently you make a good broom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
