Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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