It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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