Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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