we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize