How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
