new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
